Thursday 31 July 2008

I've just seen a face

However, unlike The Beatles, I can forget the time or place we met. Actually, I'm not even sure we've met.

I'd better explain.

One of my friends from Corpus posted pictures on Facebook of him with his fiancee (which is one of the reasons Facebook was invented, to shout out to the world that you're in love). I had the vague feeling I'd seen her before. But when I asked him, he said he only met her a couple of months ago, and with my having left the Corpus area four-and-a-half years ago, there's no reason for me to think that I've met her.

Except now I've got a face in my mind, and I cannot for the life of me remember who it is. It could be an actress or singer for all I know (although I doubt it), or someone from one of the many schools I have attended.

Argh! Isn't it annoying when something like this happens?

Tuesday 29 July 2008

Pun of the weak #12

A historical, although possibly apocryphal, pun this week.



General Sir Charles James Napier, GCB, was appointed Major-General in the Indian Army in 1842. His duties led him to Sindh province, which he was expressly forbidden to annex as it was thought that it would be over-expansion of the British Empire and would lead to over-extension of the lines of communication. However, as his army met with little resistance, he went ahead and conquered it anyway.

With the deed done, Napier is said to have sent a one-word message to his superiors in Bombay: "Peccavi".

Peccavi is the Latin for "I have sinned". When said aloud in a British accent, it sounds exactly the same as "I have Sindh".

Monday 28 July 2008

Song of the day

Well, the song of the morning, at any rate. Normally, even at 8:00 in the morning, the water in India is warm enough for me not to require hot water showering and shaving.

Not today.

We had heavy showers in Chennai last night, and the water was suitably frigid this morning. As the cold water shocked me awake, and I saw the stubble on my chin, the immortal words of The Monkees came to mind:



Oh, I could hide 'neath the wings

Of the bluebird as she sings.

The six (more like eight, for me) o'clock alarm would never ring.

Whoops its ringing and I rise,

Wipe the sleep out of my eyes.

My shavin' razor's cooooold and it stings.



It took me till lunch to get that tune out of my head. What was playing on your personal jukebox today?

Welcome to the Dark Side...

One of the things that either amused me or drove me nuts (it was a fine line) when I was doing my MBA was business buzzwords. Things like using 'action' as a verb ("Let's action that item"), 'deliverables' (we aren't grocers, a pizza parlour or obstetricians--what are we delivering?), 'fast track', 'goal-setting', 'knowledge transfer' (it's just training), 'leverage' as a verb (I still don't know what that means), 'networking', 'paradigm shift', 'thinking outside the box' and 'value add' ("What is our value add?") have all caused me to scratch my head and wonder what planet I was on.

I am happy to tell you, dear reader, that I resolved to be above all this gobblydegook, and I have been successful.

Until now.

While in Hyderabad last week, we had a discussion on a presentation that we were giving that afternoon to a client. One of the guys asked how we should respond if we were asked a particular question. I said that the correct answer to that question is that the client themselves are responsible for a good portion of that particular task, and if they don't help us out, we would have a difficult time in succeeding.

"Yes," concurred the manager who was presiding over this meeting, "but you will have to re-phrase it, or else it seems like you are shifting all the responsibility and blame on the client."

I then experienced a surreal sensation as all that is good, logical and sensible in me seemed to float out of my body and what was left said, "Yes, we have to use positive negativity", and all that is good, logical and sensible screamed in my ear, "What?"

My loyal and devoted public, I am a fallen man. I have officially succumbed and gone over to the Dark Side of the business world. I am not just using business buzzwords, I am inventing them.

I only hope you will remember me fondly for the better man that I was.

Sunday 27 July 2008

Olé, Olé, Olé!

The 2008 summer of stunning Spanish sporting successes continued today on the Champs-Élysées in Paris as Carlos Sastre won his first Le Tour de France.

Sastre follows his compatriots Óscar Pereiro (who was awarded the win over a year after the finish of the race as actual winner, American Floyd Landis, was disqualified for doping offences) and Alberto Contador (who may yet lose his title at some point in the future, also for doping allegations) as winners of the most famous cycling race in the world.

I don't believe there will be any controversy in the future over Sastre's triumph as his name is conspicuosly clean in the murky world of cycling, and he is described as being quite modest and unassuming. What a refreshing change from the usual prima donnas who occupy the upper echelons of sport.

So Sastre follows the Spanish national football team and Rafael Nadal in
unexpectedly winning major sporting events this year, emphatically confirming that the sporting summer of '08 belongs to Spain.

Touching story

I have already mentioned my love of Wikipedia in a previous blog post, It is the first place I turn to nowadays to find out more about...well, just about anything. And while it is very, very good, being that it is open for anyone to edit, and that there is no rigorous peer-review procedure, it is not unfallible. (Then again, neither is the gold standard amongst encylopaedias, Encyclopædia Britannica.)

BBC Radio personality and comedian, Martin Kelner, sometimes prefaces his references to Wikipedia as "that unimpeachable source", while I refer to it as "The Source of All Knowledge", or TSOAK. As a rebuttal to that, my blogger friend, Charlottalove, calls it TSOaAK (the small 'a' standing for 'almost').

I visit Wikipedia almost every day, and I particularly enjoy the featured articles and the "Did you know..." sections. I've even been known to while away slow hours (and even not-so-slow hours) browsing some of the 2.4+ million articles. In fact, all my knowledge of Israel's military history was acquired at the feet of TSOAK.

Earlier this month, the "Did you know..." section had a link to the entry for the Podgórski sisters, The blurb read:
Did you know...that the Podgórski sisters—six-year-old Helena and her teenage sister Stefania—harbored thirteen Jews for over two years in the attic of their house during the Holocaust?

"No, I did not know that. A teenager and a six-year-old did that? For two years? Tell me more."

So Wikipedia told me more. And I am...humbled by these two amazing siblings. The world is a better place because of people like the Podgórski sisters.

Here is their entry in the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum's website.

I have chosen to publish this post today as it was on 27 July, 1944, that Przemysl was liberated by the Soviet army, and the war ended for the Podgórski sisters and their 13 Jewish friends.

Saturday 26 July 2008

What's going on?#2

Today, 17 bombs exploded in a 70 minute span in the western Indian city of Ahmedabad, killing at least 29 people and leaving over 100 injured. Yesterday, 9 bombs exploded in a little over an hour in the southern Indian city of Bangalore, killing at least 2 people and leaving 20 injured. This is a summary of terrorist activity in India since 1993, taken from a list on Wikipedia.

There is no political or social commentary that I wish to make. I have not been affected personally by any of these attacks, and neither has anybody else that I know. I'm just sad and bewildered for my country.

Friday 25 July 2008

Take my breath away

One of the great joys of travelling is that, every once in a while, I come across something so unexpectedly amazing, that it takes my breath away and I am left to marvel at what I have seen.

While some of the things that have caused this effect in me are things you may expect to do so (I won't give them away right away - I will need them for blog posts in the future), the latest entry in this list was most unexpected.

It was the new airport in Hyderabad.

That's right, I was stunned by the beauty of an airport. And, mind you, is coming from someone who has taken flights to and from the likes of Singapore's Changi, London's Heathrow (not Terminal 5, however) and Amsterdam's Schipol (which actually has a small annex containing paintings on loan from the Rijksmuseum).

What's so special about Rajiv Gandhi International Airport? Well, it is an absolutely top-notch airport...in India. India is known for a lot of fine things, but great airports aren't on that list. Mumbai's airport is a depressing and decaying place. And I've been in sports stadiums bigger than Chennai's airport.

Hyderabad, on the other hand, is fantastic. The terminal is bright, clean and comfortable bordering on the luxurious. The landscaping outside the airport is so imaginative, that if I lived in Hyderabad, I'd go there on a picnic. I'm not kidding.

It isn't perfect, though. The food choice is pretty limited compared to other world-class airports, though the gelato shop had an excellent flavour called "Blue Sky"...and there isn't a McDonald's!

The late Prime Minister of India, Rajiv Gandhi, is so fortunate to have such a splendid structure named after him.

The GPS was pointing elsewhere

As the alleged purpose of this blog is to keep you informed of my whereabouts, I should tell you that I spent Thursday in Hyderabad, the twin city of Secunderabad, the place of my birth, on company business.

I spent the first two years of my life in Secunderabad, before moving away (this business of me being almost constantly on the move started pretty early in life) due to Dad being transferred. I returned to Secunderabad when I turned nine, and lived there for four years before another transfer took us home to Chennai, which has remained the family base ever since.

In the intervening 23 years, Hyderabad has changed a lot. The office where I spent yesterday is in a locality that used to be rather sleepy. Not now. The place is so busy, that the only reference to sleep is people chasing their dreams with one of the many high-tech companies that have offices there. It was quite an eye-opening experience.

I was gone for only 24 hours, but for those of my vast and adoring international readership who think that the day is just a bit dull without a new entry of my blog, it would have seemed much longer. You can all sleep easier tonight.

Tuesday 22 July 2008

Pun of the weak #11

Q: What's the moral of the story of Jonah in the Old Testament.

A: You can't keep a good man down.

Friday 18 July 2008

A question of perspective

A couple of days ago, I read an item in the local newspaper: "Chennai mayor inspects flyover work on GN Chetty Road - says it will be ready by December".

And I thought, "Great! Only six months more (give or take a few weeks) and traffic over there will be running smoothly again."

This morning, I had to visit our company office on GN Chetty Road to take care of some paperwork.

Six more months of this mayhem?!

There is next to no parking on the stretch of the road near our office. Part of it has now become a one-way road (and this traditionally is one of the busiest thoroughfares in Chennai). There are sedans parked in the front parking court of our office, but it beats me how they got there, because there is no viable road to get there from the little strip of tarmac that passes for a road during this construction phase. How do the people who have to work in that area every day--or worse, those who actually live in that area--cope?

Still, as long as I don't have to visit that office again in the near future, "Great! Only six months more (give or take a few weeks) and traffic over there will be running smoothly again."

It's a question of perspective.

Monday 14 July 2008

Pun of the weak #10

I have heard that there is great unity amongst morticians. I guess it must be because of their tremendous esprit de corpse.

Friday 11 July 2008

O Tempora, O Mores #3

In this day and age of e-commerce and online shopping and trading, I feel it almost anachronistic to have to answer the doorbell and find someone trying to sell me an encyclopaedia. Yet, that happened to me in Chennai not too long ago.
Some young lady rang the doorbell one afternoon and attempted to sell me an encyclopaedia. She had only volume on hand with her, and I wasn't sure if that was one volume or the whole kit and kaboodle. She had hardly started her spiel when I interrupted her (I know; that wasn't very polite of me). "What are you -- nuts? Why would I waste money on an encyclopaedia? Haven't you heard of Wikipedia -- The Source Of All Knowledge -- which I have been known to abbreviate to TSOAK? There are over 2 million articles (to be said in a Dr. Evil accent) on that site. There is no way your puny mass of cut trees can compete.
"Why, only the other day, my mother was asking me if it would be possible to find out some details about a medicine that a patient of hers was taking, the name of which that she (my mother) had not come across before and so was delaying her diagnosis of the situation. In the time it took her to say that to me, I had spied the chemical name of the medicine on the information pamphlet, brought up the relevant entry in TSOAK and given her all the information she required.
"Tell me, can your miserable collection of words printed on dead oxygen-providers do that? I don't think so."
Actually, what I said to her was, "No, thank you", and gently closed the door. But the stuff before is what I thought of saying to her.

Wednesday 9 July 2008

Pun of the weak #9

Monday 7 July 2008

Olé! Part 2

It's déjà vu. Only last week I was enjoying a stunning Spanish sporting success (try saying that five times fast) at Euro 2008. This week is Rafael Nadal's turn to earn plaudits from me for his brilliant triumph in last night's epic Wimbledon final (emphasis on the "night" - watch the embedded video on the BBC link to see what I mean).
Rafa becomes the first Spaniard to win Wimbledon since Manuel Santana in 1966, the first man in five years to beat Roger Federer (of Hogwarts, according to Simon Barnes of The Times) at Wimbledon, and the first man to win the Men's Singles titles at both the French Open and Wimbledon in the same year since Björn Borg in 1980. Stats aside, it was a fantastic match. Federer may have been a bit under-par by his usually high standards, but there was no denying Nadal. The man hits the ball with undisguised ferocity, almost as if he had a personal grudge against the poor thing. Remarkable player. Anyone brave enough to bet against Spain's Sergio Garcia breaking his Grand Slam duck at The Open Championship at Royal Birkdale in a fortnight and complete an unlikely Spanish sporting hat-trick?

Saturday 5 July 2008

The New Laws of Fashion

Sometimes we read, hear or see something that makes a deep impact upon our consciousness. It moves to reflection or action. However, sometimes it takes a bit longer than we would like to move to action.

Thus it was with me and the New Laws of Fashion. Specifically #38:

38. POLISH YOUR MID- AND DARK-BROWN SHOES WITH BLACK SHOE POLISH. This will create darker shades near the seams and gradually deepen the patina all over.

Wow! What a great idea...except I don't have any mid- or dark-brown shoes. When I read this article last year I had one pair of shoes. And they were black.

Then I remembered that I had a pair of burgundy shoes at home in Chennai. I thought that they would also be ideal for this treatment.

Imagine my surprise when I got home (about a month ago) and found white streaks all over the surface. What on earth were these white streaks? I couldn't wipe them off, even with a damp cloth and mild soap.

Then my dad suggested that it could be paint.

Paint??? On my shoes?? How? It's not like we have a kid in the house who could have used the shoes for an art project.

Well, it turns out that the house underwent some extensive re-painting last summer as my parents prepared the upper floor to be let out as an apartment (about time, too -- there's no earthly reason why the two of them needed such a huge house for themselves), and someone may have been a bit careless in putting down the protective sheets before starting the painting.

Fortunately, my dad had a solution to the problem: wipe the shoes with a cloth damp with kerosene (any petroleum-based fuel would have done). Bingo! The white streaks have disappeared.

And my hunch was right. The burgundy shoes look really cool after being polished with black polish.

The New Laws of Fashion have been extended.

Wednesday 2 July 2008

Pun of the weak #8

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who get binary, and those who don't.

Tuesday 1 July 2008

Theme Song Guy

Sometime ago, I was watching "The Emperor's New Groove" and I thought to myself, "Self, when I grow up, I want to be rich enough to have my own ' Theme Song Guy'."



Well, I'm not there yet, but there's no reason why I can't put Theme Song Guy's playlist on my blog. So, enjoy while you listen to what I (would like to) think of as my life's soundtrack. ;-)

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