In a holding pattern

It is nearly midnight on Friday. Why am I blogging in Doha? Aren't I supposed to be on a plane back to India? Yes, I am. Unfortunately, not for the first time in my life, I have issues with immigration which has delayed my departure by at least 48 hours.

For those who are keeping count, this is the fifth country with whom I've had visa/immigration problems (only one of which was not resolved within a few days). The countries on the Honour Roll:

1. The United States of America
2. Germany
3. Spain
4. Denmark
5. Qatar

You'd think they'd recognise a world renowned traveller when they see his passport, but nooooooo...

Reflections on Doha

I came to Doha, the capital of Qatar, on a training project on September 1, 2007. Originally I was scheduled to be here only till December, but the project was extended twice and it ends only this week. Overall it has been a great experience. Here are a few highlights:

• Doha is generally hot, dry and dusty. It’s the desert; what did you expect?

• Because Doha is hot and dry for most of the year, there is no heating in buildings, and not much by way of insulation. Consequently, during the few weeks of “winter”, apartments become bitterly cold. Stores do a roaring business (sorry, accidental humour) in space heaters.

• Although it hot, dry and dusty, it doesn’t mean that there is no greenery at all. There are patches of grass, trees and flowers where some people have worked very hard (and others have spent a lot of money).

• Whatever rain Doha gets is in the winter. And when the rain falls, it falls heavily.

• Having said all this, Doha has very pleasant weather for about six months (Oct – Dec; Feb – Apr) in the year. That’s not a bad average.

• When I first landed in Chicago (in ’93), the friend who picked me up from O’Hare told me that there are two seasons in the Windy City: winter…and “Under Construction”. By his definition, there is only one season in Doha: the city is permanently under construction.

• Qatar is a small country. It takes an hour to travel from the east coast to the west coast, and not a whole lot longer to travel from north to south. When the highway construction is completed, the travel time will be even less.

• The first impression I had of Doha when I got here was that it was McAllen, Laredo or any of the small cities along the Rio Grande river in Texas…on steroids. The same dusty environment, the same shades of brown everywhere, the same relatively new and broad roads…and the same excess of gas-guzzling 4x4s. The only difference is that there are more SUVs than pickups here compared to South Texas.

• Petrol/gasoline here is about $0.75 per gallon. (That still doesn’t excuse the number of SUVs here.)

• Bottled water is about $1.00 per gallon.

• Milk is about $5.00 per gallon.

• Almost all the food is imported, much of it from Saudi Arabia. A lot of the processed food comes from the UAE.

• The most useless way of specifying your location: “I’m next to the mosque.” Which mosque? They’re on every block.

• Driving can be a major hassle here during rush hours. Still, even with the traffic snarls, it rarely seems to take more than 30 minutes to get to a destination.

• Most of the locals here drive like they are drunk. They are not drunk. So what’s their excuse?!

• The two major foreign ethnic groups here are the Indians (which I did not find surprising) and Filipino (which I did find surprising).

• Under the right circumstances, I wouldn’t mind getting a full-time job here. Doha has been kind to me.

The GPS starts warming up

It is time to pack up my bags (and suitcase) again and move.

I’ll be leaving Doha on Friday night and landing in Mumbai in the early morning on Saturday. I’ll make my way to Pune that morning, and I’ll be there for 3-4 days, and then my company intends to transfer me to one of the Chennai offices. Which means that I will finally have a job in my hometown for the first time.

So if you’ve got all that, the blog is doing its job.

Puns of the weak

One of my many failings is my love of wordplay. The bigger the groans elicited, the more joy it brings me. Here are a few good ones I have heard in the past few days:

Did you hear about the Australian amnesiac? He forgot how to use his boomerang but when he threw it a few times it soon came back to him.

How do you turn a platypus into an R&B singer? Heat it in the microwave till its bill withers.

How many seconds are there in a year? Twelve: January 2^nd, February 2^nd, March 2^nd,…

One from the New Testament: How did the Apostles go to the Temple? In a Honda. (Acts 2:46 “And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple.”)

And one original, real life pun: Asked by a friend of mine when I was visiting him in Mumbai, a few weeks after I had been in Pune : “So, how did you find Pune?” “I got off the aeroplane…and there it was! I didn’t even have to look for it.”

About the man without the hat...and without a few more things

Suddenly I don't care if "The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" turns out to be the biggest turkey since the "Plan 9 from Outer Space". I don't care that, at 66, Harrison Ford seems to have a chest bigger than his wife's and biceps bigger than my thigh.

Any guy who could do this for the environment is my hero:

Mostly about a man in a hat

He's almost here. After 19 years away, he's back. And who really cares whether or not he is as good as he used to be, or whether instead his age is going to tell? He's got his fedora, he's got his jacket, he's got his bullwhip...and he makes archaeologists look cool. It's Indiana Jones, and I am going to give him a lot of leeway. Now, the big question is where am I going to watch the movie? I haven't been able to confirm yet whether it opens in Qatar tomorrow, but even if it does, I may just wait till I am back in India to watch it. The reason: I don't know if the whole movie will be shown here. Let me explain. In the build-up to the release of the "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull", one of the local TV channels showed all three previous Indiana Jones movies on successive weekends. I didn't get to watch the first two movies, but I watched most of "The Last Crusade". I say I watched "most" of it even though I did not budge from my seat from start to finish. I watched "most" of it, because they only showed "most" of it: every Jewish reference was cut from the movie. At the end of the movie, Indy only had to face two of the three challenges. I wonder how much of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" was actually broadcast? Probably only the first hour or so. So, as I don't know what other local sensibilities may be offended in the latest adventure, perhaps I will just wait till I return to India and watch it there. Of course, I'm assuming that no Indian sensibilities are offended, either. "The Temple of Doom" with its sensitive portrayal (not!) of Indian cuisine is banned from cinemas in India.

Cultural oddities - Club soda

As I go to different countries (or even the same countries at different years), I usually find something different and unusual that I cannot always explain. For instance, here in Qatar, practically every corner store has a shelf of cans of club soda, alongside the usual soft drinks. It is easier to find club soda here than it is in the US, UK or India, where people have an excuse for requiring club soda to mix with their alcohol. Qatar, on the other hand, is mostly dry. Alcohol can be bought, but only after a laborious application process. So what do Qataris do with so much club soda?

Desert Island Discs

After the gravity of my last post, let's lighten the mood up a bit. Let's pretend that I'm famous enough to be invited to appear on BBC Radio 4's long-running programme Desert Island Discs. What 8 musical tracks and what one book (The Bible and The Complete Works of Shakespeare would already be awaiting me on the island) would I like to be with me if I were a castaway on a desert island? (Of course, in this world of 160 GB iPods and 5 MB mp3 files, 8 musical tracks aren't a lot, are they? We'll ignore this reality for the sake of tradition.) 1. My Baby Just Cares for Me, Nina Simone. As I've stated already that I would one day like to play this on the piano, you shouldn't be surprised that this makes the list. 2. You'll Never Walk Alone, The Anfield Kop. But it's got to be a recording of them singing after the 2005 Champions League Semi-Final 2nd Leg at Anfield. And this made The Bucket List as well, so no surprise here either. 3. Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Why isn't this in the LDS Hymn Book? 4. Pachelbel Canon Techno Remix, unknown. I have no idea who did this, but I love it. Brilliant adaptation of the finest piece of classical music ever written. 5. Across the Universe, The Beatles. There had to be a Beatles representation, and this is my choice. And even if their pronunciation of the Sanskrit chant "Jai Guru Deva, Om" is almost incomprehensible, I still love this song. 6. James Bond Theme, Monty Norman Orchestra. Best theme music, narrowly beating Indiana Jones. 7. Volare, Gipsy Kings. I need an upbeat number for when things get a bit slow, and this is a wonderful version of Domenico Modugno's excellent song. 8. Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, Monty Python. Mindless optimism from the bad boys of British comedy. Book: The Code of the Woosters, P.G. Wodehouse. Wodehouse is my favourite author of all time. I love his way with words, his turns of phrase, and his endless optimism about life. And although this was the third or fourth of his hundred-plus novels and short story compilations that I read (back when I was but a wee nipper), it still holds up as the best in terms of convolution of plot. So, what are your Desert Island Discs? And if your blog appears as a link on mine, then consider yourselves tagged and required to give your response as a post on your own blog (or else this post will have a doozy of a comments section).

What's Going On? #1

Every once in a while, something will happen in the world that will make me wonder how human beings can treat each other so badly. At such times, I have to ask the same question Marvin Gaye asked in 1971: "What's Going On?" * * * * * * Two weeks ago today, Cyclone Nargis struck the south-eastern Asian country of Burma. Official figures put the number of dead at over 43,000 with 28,000 more missing. Thousands of people around the world have assisted relief efforts by contributing time, money and supplies. And some of it may be for naught. Burma has been ruled by military dictatorship since 1962. In 1990, parliamentary elections were held in Burma for the first time in 30 years. The pro-democracy movement led by Aung San Suu Kyi won a huge majority of parliamentary seats, but the elections were promptly annulled by the military junta, and Ms. Suu Kyi was placed under house arrest. Protests from within the country and pressure from international organisations and governments have failed to budge the military dictators who continue to rule Burma, suppress free speech and democracy and commit serious violations of human rights. Even with such a background, it is quite amazing that the dictators have restricted the inflow of foreign aid to those hit by Cyclone Nargis. Those in the capital city of Rangoon appear to have received aid, and re-building is currently under way according to BBC reports. However, foreign aid workers have been denied access to the worst hit areas in the Irrawady Delta. The official death figures appear to be a severe underestimation. In the words of Marvin Gaye, "What's going on?"

The need for my "GPS"

I realised rather late in the day that today is the 13th of May. It's been exactly one year since I left home to take up my current job in Pune. This is a good opportunity to explain briefly the reason behind my blog's URL. I move...a lot. There aren't always very good reasons why I move, but they are compelling enough to necessitate moving. Last May 13, I moved from my hometown of Chennai, India to Pune, India as my new company was starting a new division there. I'd only visited Pune once before in my life when my uncle was posted there by the army. Life in Pune was quite different from Chennai, in terms of weather at least. Pune-ites complain if the temperature crosses 30 Celsius. Chennai-ites rejoice if it falls below 30 Celsius. And the humidity in Pune is much lower than my hometown. In that way, it was quite pleasant there. After about three months of training, I was selected for a project in Doha, Qatar, and I made my way here on September 1 last year for what was supposed to be a three month project. Two extensions later, I'm still here, but am scheduled to return to India at the end of the month. After that? I don't know. And that's why there is this "GPS".

Compatibility

Ever since I first became aware of computers as a young teen, I have been aware of the issue of compatibility. Back then, in the pre-Windows dominated world of personal computers (yes, such an era did exist), the big issue was between DOS and Apple operating systems. A file saved in one system couldn't be used in another (or so I believe, as I never did encounter an Apple system in those days). The rise of Windows and the decline of Apple reduced the compatibility issue to a large extent...until now. The new Office 2007 software looks a whole lot different than the Office 3.x-Office 97 versions, and the default file extension is .docx not .doc. Why is this important? Well, Office 2007 was installed in my company's offices last year, and has more recently been installed in my client's offices in Qatar. I had written something in a Word document the other day, and saved. When I came back to my hotel and tried to open the file on my own laptop, it wouldn't. I had saved it as a .docx file, not .doc. Thankfully, in this day and age, we are not left to our own devices. We may be little lambs lost in the wood, but there's always Google to help us out. A search led me to the Digital Inspiration blog, which pointed me to the wonderful service at zamzar.com. The free file conversion was completed in less than 10 minutes. Thanks, fellas.

The Bucket List

I’ve had this blog registered for a few months now, but I haven’t got around to writing so far, but this seemed like a great topic with which to start:

About 10 days ago, my friend Charlottalove posted part of her Bucket List, based on the Jack Nicholson-Morgan Freeman movie. I really liked the post, and so I said to myself, "Self! Let's kick-off my blogging career by sharing a few goals with the world." And self replied, "Yeah, whatever." I was not discouraged.

What are the types of things that would make my Bucket List? Well, they would have to be somewhat achievable (so walking on the moon is out), and somewhat well-defined and not completely nebulous (so simply stating "I want to get fitter" is not acceptable).

After much thought, here's what makes the list:



1. Read the entire Old Testament in six months. This may take a while. I always lose steam around 2 Kings, and then read random books and chapters here and there in the rest of the Book.

2. Sing “You’ll Never Walk Alone” with the Anfield choir, preferably on a European night. I may only have four years to get this one done!

3. Learn to swim. Four failed attempts over the years, at different ages, in different locations, and different would-be coaches.

4. Drive up the Pacific Coast Highway. I’ve done some marvellous road trips in the US so far, but never one in California. And I’ve got the camera for it now.

5. Live in Switzerland. So I can say that I have a Swiss bank account! Oh, and I hear the chocolate there isn’t too bad.

6. Watch and understand a French movie without sub-titles.

7. Visit Israel.

8. Go on a photo safari in Africa.

9. Sing the whole of “The Spirit of God” without my vocal cords feeling like someone is massaging them with a rusty saw somewhere around the second chorus.

10. Learn to ride a horse. This will be extremely tough considering how skittish I get around live animals.

11. Learn to play “My Baby Just Cares for Me” on piano. This will take a while as I don't know how to play the piano yet.

12. Go hang gliding. I’m not too scared of heights, and I’m not particularly nervous about air travel, but the very thought of this has put knots in my stomach.



I think this is a reasonable starter list.

So, how about you? What makes your Bucket List?