Changes in attitude, changes in gratitude...

(With apologies to Jimmy Buffett for the title of this post.)

So the great American tradition of Thanksgiving is upon us. And while I will accept your greetings on this day, my dear American friends, please do not ask me what I'll be doing for Thanksgiving. It is a North American holiday. And restricted this Thursday to the United States. No one else gets the day (or week) off.

That's not to say that taking some time off from my busy schedule (ha-ha, I wish, but that's another matter) and expressing thanks for what I have is a bad idea. A spirit of gratitude and thanksgiving should permeate all our lives all the time. Preferably with moderate doses of pie.

This year, I'm extremely grateful for having read the following passage in "Night Watch", part of the sublimely lunatic Discworld series by Terry Pratchett.

Background: Samuel Vimes has been transported back in time and met his 20 year old self. The temptation to improve his past is great, until he has an epiphany:
"That was always the dream, wasn't it? 'I wish I'd known then what I know now'? But when you got older you found out that you now wasn't you then. You then was a twerp. You then was what you had to be to start out on the rocky road of becoming you now, and one of the rocky patches on that road was being a twerp."

In short, I'm thankful for having been a twerp in the past...and for continuing to be a twerp today in some aspects of life. It will lead to a better me in the future.

Pun of the weak #22

A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school. He didn't want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked a neighbor if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn't notice her. She said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed.
The next school day, the neighbour and her little girl set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbour boy he knew. She did this for the whole week. As the boys walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week. Finally he said to Timmy, "Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her?"
Timmy nonchalantly replied, "Yeah, I know who she is."
The friend said, "Well, who is she?"
"That's just Shirley Goodnest," Timmy replied, "and her daughter Marcie. Every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, and as it says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcie shall follow me all the days of my life', I guess I'll just have to get used to it!"

100th Post: Shankar's Laws of Existence

Woo-hoo! 100 posts on my blog, in just over six months. Yay, me! Of course, it's not that big of a deal considering I've pinched a good deal of them from other sources. Then again, I neither have kids whose photos I can plaster on the blog every other day and let everyone know just how cute they are, nor am I writing posts about how being in a new place is so exciting/strange. So perhaps it all evens out.
At this momentous point in human history, I have decided to make a major announcement. It is clear that it is a chaotic and anarchic world out there on the Internet, and in order to bring some order and method, I am establishing (fanfare, please)...

Shankar's Laws of Existence:
1. If it's not in Wikipedia, it's not true.
2. If you don't post it on your blog with accompanying photos, it didn't happen to you.
3. If you are not my friend on Facebook, you are merely an acquaintance.
4. If it's not posted on Youtube, it never happened.
5. If you can't find it on Google Maps, the place doesn't exist.
6. If Matt didn't dance there, it isn't inhabited.
7. What speling misteaks?
8. And what are apostrophe's? Your not making any sense.
9. If you don't leave comments on my blog post, you haven't read it.

This list is by no means exhaustive, so please feel free to add others in the Comments section.

A little toilet humour...

The Law of the Garbage Truck

Got this in my e-mail the other day.

"One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes,skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.
"My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.
"So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!'
"This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.' He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
"The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right and pray for the ones who don't."

The High Tech way to go about it...

I found this in The Times of India Lifestyle section yesterday. I think it's great.

INSTALL LOVE, IT IS REALLY QUITE SIMPLE
Try to install love in the folder of your heart...it's really not that difficult!
Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?
Tech Support : Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer : Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready, as long as you walk me through the steps. Tell me now, what do I do first?
Tech Support : The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer : Yes, but there are several other programmes running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
Tech Support : Er... what programmes are running, can you list them for me?
Customer : Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.
Tech Support : No problem, you can go right ahead. Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programmes. Love will eventually override Low Self-esteem with a module of its own called High Self-esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programmes prevent Love from being properly installed. Tell me, can you turn those off?
Customer : Umm... let me see. Actually, I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how? Please help.
Tech Support : With pleasure. It's really quite simple. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Customer : Okay, done! Wow, Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support : Yes, but remember that you have only the base programme. It's quite basic. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Customer : Oops! I have an error message already. It says, 'Error’ Programme not run on external components.' What should I do now?
Tech Support : Don't worry, relax. It means that the Love programme is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Customer : So, what should I do?
Tech Support : Pull down Self-acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive Self; Realise Your Worth; and Acknowledge Your Limitations.
Customer : Okay, done. That wasn't too difficult.
Tech Support : Now, copy them to the 'My Heart' directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer : Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support : Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to pass it and its various modules around to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
Customer : Thank you, thank you so much.

Pun of the weak #21

Did you hear about the guy who confessed to having burgled a jewellery store? He had been plagued by feelings of gilt.

Quantum of Solace

I went to see the new James Bond movie, "Quantum of Solace", on Saturday afternoon. And I had a really good time.

This isn't the usual Bond movie. Previous Bonds were all heavy on plot, especially "The World is Not Enough", which had a plot so convoluted that even Pierce Brosnan deemed it incomprehensible.

This one has a wafer-thin plot, and is more of a character study of the man Bond himself. The last Bond movie, "Casino Royale", introduced Bond as a newly-minted 00. QOS, which is a sequel to that, shows Bond growing into this status, and also M learning about Bond, and how far he can be trusted.

There are always people who have misgivings about any actor who is selected to portray Bond. Just this week, I've read people criticising Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig. However, as someone who has read a few of Ian Fleming's books, I think Craig portrays Fleming's Bond's cynicism and lack of sentimentality about his job better than any one else. And, yes, Fleming's Bond did fall in love. More than once.

The theme song, Another Way to Die, by Jack White (of the White Stripes) and Alicia Keys, is pretty weird and does not fit into the rest of the catalogue of theme songs, in my opinion. On the other hand, the music itself lends itself as part of the movie soundtrack.

You will remember where you were when you heard the news...

When I woke up this morning, I turned on the TV to find out the results of the US Presidential Election. To my amazement, there was Sen. John McCain giving his concession speech.

Two thoughts came to my mind: 1. Good heavens, the opinion polls were actually right! Barack Obama wins...big. He's going to be the first African-American President of the United States of America! Whoda thunk it?! 2. What a gracious speech by Sen. McCain. Where was this guy the past few months?

Then the focus switched to Grant Park, Chicago, and the vastly mixed throng of people awaiting the President-Elect, black, white, male, female, young, old. Good Lord, there's Jesse Jackson...crying.

At the designated time, Sen. Obama came out and gave his victory speech. I remember huddling over a short-wave radio in my dorm room in 1992, listening to Bill Clinton giving his own victory speech, and I thought that was pretty good oration. This was something else. There's something utterly compelling about Obama's oration and I was held mesmerized. (That's not necessarily a good thing: 1930s Germany was held spellbound by the rhetoric of an evil madman.)

Back in June, I marvelled that Sen. Obama had become the Democratic nominee for President of the United States. I could now see why he's taken the next step.

Congratulations, President-Elect Barack Obama. May God bless and protect you.

Let's hear it for mathematics!

He's baaack...

November 7, 2008: James Bond (Jimmy to his close friends, like me) returns to cinema screens in India. Make that November 007, 2008.

Am I excited to spend a couple of hours watching an impossibly-cool British secret agent travel to exotic places around the world, drive supercool cars, use the latest in high-tech gadgets, get beaten up by evil henchmen, treat his boss with borderline contempt, have sex with random women, blow up a few buildings, kill the bad guy and make the world safe again for all of us little people, all in the name of Queen and country?

Yeah! Let the mayhem begin.