Tuesday 23 June 2009

Rools phor Riting Gooder Inglish

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid clichés like the plague.
6. Also, always absolutely avoid and abjure annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) inappropriate.
9. No sentence fragments.
10. One should never, ever generalise.
11. Contractions aren't necessary, and shouldn't be used.
12. Do not use no double negatives.
13. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
14. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.
15. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
16. Kill all exclamation marks!!!!!!
17. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
18. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place, and omit it when its not needed.
19. Puns are for children, not groan adults.
20. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

4 Comments:

Unknown said...

Hilarious!

Charlotta-love said...

Thankfully I was able to point out every mistake. Gosh I hate the word irregardless.

Tiffany said...

You must be referring to my blog. I offend MANY of these rools!!!!!

Bookslinger said...

Wii doan need no stinkin rulez!

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