Christmas Eve/Sarajevo -- Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Love this video...although it beats me how the mother couldn't hear a rock band/symphony orchestra outside the window!

Gift Wrapping Tips for Guys

Gift Wrapping Tips for Guys - by Dave Barry

This is the time of year when we think back to the very first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men -- Gaspar, Balthazar, and Herb -- went to see the baby Jesus and, according to the Book of Matthew, "presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh."

These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we discover an important, yet often overlooked, theological fact: there is no mention of wrapping paper.

If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so: "And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it! That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. And the baby Jesus was more interested in the paper than the frankincense."

But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the very first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is because the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics:

1. They were wise.
2. They were men.

Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it off. This is not just my opinion, this is a scientific fact based on a statistical survey of two guys I know. One is Rob, who said the only time he ever wraps a gift is "if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the person opens it." The other is Gene, who told me he does wrap gifts, but as a matter of principle never takes more than 15 seconds per gift. "No one ever had to wonder which presents daddy wrapped at Christmas," Gene said. "They were the ones that looked like enormous spitballs."

I also wrap gifts, but because of some defect in my motor skills, I can never completely wrap them. I can take a gift the size of a deck of cards and put it the exact center of a piece of wrapping paper the size of a regulation volleyball court, but when I am done folding and taping, you can still see a sector of the gift peeking out. (Sometimes I camouflage this sector with a marking pen.) If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by Scotch tape.

On the other hand, if you give my wife a 12-inch square of wrapping paper, she can wrap a C-130 cargo plane. My wife, like many women, actually likes wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness. If it were possible, my wife would wrap each individual volt.

My point is that gift-wrapping is one of those skills like having babies that come more naturally to women than to men. That is why today I am presenting:

Gift Wrapping Tips for Guys:

• Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can claim that it's myrrh.
• The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food coloring and liquid starch. They must be smoking crack.
• If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky recipient on Christmas morning:

  YOUR WIFE: Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree?

  YOU: It's a gift! See? It has a bow!

  YOUR WIFE (peering into the trash bag): It's a leaf blower.

  YOU: Gas-powered! Five horsepower!

  YOUR WIFE: I want a divorce.

  YOU: I also got you some myrrh.

In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.

A little healing

There are few things that unite Indians. We are a diverse people united by a sense of...actually, I'm not even sure what is our national characteristic. One thing that most of do share is a love of cricket. We as a nation love the game. Some of us even been known to watch all five days of an international Test Match.
Yes, I said five days. Watching a Test Match is akin to watching someone paint. It takes a while to figure out what the final picture will be, and, as Test Matches often end in draws with neither team winning, most of them are like watching someone paint the side of a house: they have form and function, but I'll be blowed if I'm going to hang them in a museum of fine art. Every once in a while, there are genuine masterpieces, that remain etched in the memory long after their completion.
The Indian cricket team has always had some wonderfully talented players who are among the most admired in the world. The problem has always been that, like the country as a whole, the total was less than the sum of its parts. Until the millennium.
From about 2000 onwards, India has become a far more consistent, scrappy team, ready to go toe-to-toe with the best of them. In fact, India are the only team not to have a losing record against the all-conquering Australians in this time frame (in fact, I think we lead them 7-6 since 2001). In October we beat the Aussies 2-0 in record-setting style, and we looked forward eagerly to the visit of a rather unsettled England side in November-December.
The English arrived. And they got hammered in the One Day matches. Five matches played, five thumping Indian wins.
And then came 26/11. Suddenly, cricket didn't matter. For once. For a few days.
As a nation we were shaken, even more than usual due to the brazen nature of the terrorist attacks. We needed healing. Now. The healing that only cricket can give Indians (you have to have lived here to know this is true). Most of all, Mumbai needed this, because Mumbai has always been the capital of Indian cricket.
The English, understandably, returned home as the tour was disrupted. And then, incredibly, the team returned to India to re-start the tour. The venue of the first Test Match was changed to Chennai from...Mumbai. In a magnificent gesture, the English team donated half their match fees to a fund set up to aid victims of the Mumbai attacks.
As if blessed by the fates for their generosity and bravery, the undermanned English dominated the first three-fourths of the match. An upset win seemed on the cards. India fought back on the fourth day. The English nosed ahead on the morning of the fifth. Then, Sachin Tendulkar played the greatest game of his record-breaking career (which is saying something), and took India to a historic, cathartic win.
It had to be Sachin, a son of Mumbai. For those hundreds of million Indians for whom cricket is a religion, Sachin is a god. And aren't the gods supposed to provide healing?

We Three Kings

This is my favourite Christmas carol from my childhood days in England...although we never sang it with quite as much gusto as these three Australian gentlemen.

100 Things I've Done, or Not Done

I've seen this list on a couple of blogs recently, and I thought I'd have a shot at it. (Items in red indicate the things that I have done, some with a few clarifications.)
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted (not exactly painted, but sketched in pencil...I'm counting it)
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie (no, but I've been on television)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China (only a restaurant of that name with a great buffet)
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia (had a stopover at Moscow airport once)
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (bought a ton in the past, particularly the Trefoils)
62. Gone whale watching (only in my dream...no, really, I did have a dream that I was watching the whales)
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving (it's on the list)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter (too bad no footage of this exists...it was ace!)
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (well, my name has been in a published book, with my contribution clearly acknowledged...I'm claiming credit)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Book of Mormon or Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Dead Sea
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day