Pun of the Weak #3

A man spots a guy carrying a long stick outside an athletics stadium. He asked him, "Are you a pole vaulter?"

Came the reply, "No, I'm a German, but how did you know my name was Walther?"

Fashion tips for high fliers

I had meant to write this post before I left Doha, but now I have a second person to add some (arbitrary and unsubstantiated) weight to my point of view, so I can now appear more authoritative.

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The resemblance between the real me and my passport photograph is rather superficial (sorry, there is no chance that I will post the actual photo on the Internet), and at times I am amazed that airport officials let me through without a second glance. They are either highly trained and can spot key similarities between the real me and the photograph, or they are extremely blase and couldn't care less what I do in their country. I hope it is the former.

However, a description of the clothes I wear when flying could be easily circulated around the airports of the world ought to suffice as proof of my identity and assure any doubtful airport staff that I am who I claim to be, because, I believe, I have worn pretty much the same clothes while taking a flight for the past four years.

There is a method to the consistency: I wear the heaviest of everything I own.

The heaviest shoes (usually sneakers).

The heaviest trousers (a pair of jeans).

The heaviest shirt (my Liverpool polo shirt).

The heaviest jacket (that won't cause me to melt).

And in my hand, I carry the heaviest book that I am carrying, and if possible (and if applicable), my camera.

Why? Because airlines will weigh your baggage, but they do not weigh the passenger.

There you have it: my method for shaving a few hundred grams off my baggage weight. And the method agrees with this guy's rules: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24281719/.

Verdict on the latest appearance of the man in a hat

I thought it was great.

And that baddie was just asking for it when he took off Indy's hat. BIG no-no.

Pun of the Weak #2

Did you hear about the underachieving dyslexic who was so determined to be successful that he sold his soul to Santa?

Debut from Pune

I have arrived in Pune without too much difficulty. No lost luggage, no fines for excess baggage (fortunately emotional baggage does not count), no delay in the flight, no unpleasant weather.

Having said that, a three hour flight that starts at 1:00 a.m. in the local time of the destination city is a pretty lousy flight. There's no time to sleep as they serve a meal at a ridiculous time of night, and unless you take this flight on the weekend, you'll be a zombie at work. Fortunately, I was given permission to stay in (I am staying with my friends, the Johnsons) and I got some sleep in the late morning.

Now, it's time to head off to bed for a proper night's rest.